I'm feeling a bit deflated today... and I have been for a little while now. Just with a lot of things in my life. I talked to my big sister for a while yesterday, and it felt good to get some stuff out. This summer is shaping up to be kind of a weird one so far - there are a lot of usual summer activities that haven't really been happening as I'd planned, and it's throwing me for a loop. Not that a change is bad, but I'm definitely noticing that I'm limiting myself due to the high number of weddings I'm attending this summer (that I need to get gifts for), and my struggle with finances right now.
Also, I'm struggling with other things too. My job is still frustrating me, and I'm trying to work on my next step with that, but it's definitely hard. I'm moving in with John at the end of July, and although I feel good with my decision I still battle with my fears (what if it doesn't work out? What if it's a mistake? I'm scared! What if what if what if??), and general past "relationship baggage" that I know is just stupid.
And on top of all of that I'm feeling pretty burned out with Derby. I love the sport, and I love my girls, but it has been the cause of some added stress, and I never wanted it to be that way. I'm finding myself tired of going to practices all the time, and even dreading them! That is SO not good. I took a short 3-week-long leave of absence earlier this year, and it may be time for another one. That LOA helped light the fire for me again, and maybe that's what I need. I don't know. I'm just burned out on life right now, and it's frustrating.
Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer in this post! :( I guess I just needed to get some stuff out. I think I need a break in some part of my life... just not really sure what that is yet.
FOOD
2 cups of coffee with mom at the Market (with 1/2 & 1/2 and honey)
Banana
Brown rice with fire-roasted low-sodium diced tomatoes, onions & zucchini sauteed in oil, seasoned w/ salt & pepper.
Small spinach salad with raspberries, candied walnuts, goat cheese, and balsamic vinaigrette with olive oil.
Cherries
Ramen noodles with hot sauce
Some ice cream
Acai juice
EXERCISE
None... ugh... such a bum!
I don't know what the heck blogger is doing with my comments, but I wrote a long "you're awesome" comment with motivation for you (no one is going to come along and give it to you!), and telling you how proud I am to be your friend, but it disappeared :( But I hope you know, I'm super proud of you and you're doing the right thing!
ReplyDeleteStupid blogger!
ReplyDeleteAw - thank you so much sweetie. I really really really appreciate it, and I'm SO proud to be your friend too!! Hope you're feeling better. <3 you!! XOXO