Friday, May 20, 2011

Day 38 (Sweet Dee) - Plateau

I weighed myself this morning, and I'm SO frustrated.  The scale hasn't budged in 2 weeks.  Not a pound.... not even a half a pound!  I seem to be stuck right at 159.  And yes, it does make me feel like giving up.  I'm less than a week away from my 1/2 way point, and my success feels...well... meh.  I do feel like I'm eating a lot better during the week, getting in a lot more workouts, and that I'm much healthier in general.  But I'm frustrated with where my goals are, and how far away they still seem.  

I keep saying to myself that weight loss takes time... but it's definitely discouraging to not see the scale moving anymore.  Sigh.  

On top of that, my boss has been berating me for stupid shit lately.  I've been working here for over 4 years now, and I've made a couple of silly mistakes that I've never made before - but you know what?  Shit happens.  And my boss has been getting on my case about it.  Hey, you know what?  I'm not perfect.  No one is.  And a lot of other people would have been screwing stuff up over & over again, but this ONE TIME that I mess up, I get reprimanded as though it happens all the time.  BULLSHIT.  I need to find a new job.  I'm so pissed off right now.

Needless to say, I fell off the wagon last night.  Just a bit. 

Yes, I fed my anger and frustration with food and booze, and I shouldn't have.  In fact, it ended with me running to the bathroom during the night because my body wasn't happy with me. 

FOOD
Vegan breakfast sandwich (2 slices Ezekiel toast, slice of pan seared tofu w/ spices, 2 slices fake bacon, fresh spinach, 1/4 an avocado, 1 tbsp Veganese, small sprinkle of vegan mozzarella cheese).
Cup of Vanilla Hazelnut tea.

Strawberries w/ half a sliced pear.

White chocolate macadamia nut cookie.

Subway 6" sandwich (whole wheat bread, all veggies, light mayo, southwest dressing).

Whiskey & OJ drink w/ goat cheese ravioli appetizer (drenched in butter).
Spicy Basil delivery (1 egg roll, vegetable tempura, pineapple / veggie / tofu curry with white rice).
Dirty martini (with 2 bleu cheese olives).
3 large squares of milk chocolate.

EXERCISE
None.  Bummed.... :(

5 comments:

  1. Hugs.

    Don't worry about the stupid scale or your stupid boss (I'll dropkick him/her later) and don't you DARE give up or I'll dropkick you too. You're not really doing this because of a silly number, are you? Seems to me the point is to feel better about yourself and get stronger and healthier in the process. That scale is not a mirror and that number is not a reflection of the beautiful person that you are.

    Now, cheer up, shithead! ;)

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  2. Yeah, what she said!!! Up until last week I went up and down between the same 5 pounds for 3 or 4 weeks before last week. Even on weeks I thought I had really kicked my own ass. It's frustrating, but it will pass, and you will make your goals. :) And I bet that late night trip to the bathroom made you totally lighter!

    <3

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  3. And, sometimes it takes a while for your body to adjust and actually start responding to what you're doing. Keep rockin' it, lady! And let me know where I can find those blue cheese olives.

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  4. girl, over 90 days you are bound to have some downs and some self-doubts. i am in the same place myself. just hit your mental reset button. you do'nt have to be perfect, you just have to keep trying. i know you can do it.
    and yeah, cheer up shithead.

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  5. I love you guys!! Thank you so much for the encouragement - I really needed it today. You are awesome. <3 <3 <3

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